young people rushing to the altar: NO

Hello. I’ve been gone for a minute, yes, but summer classes are kicking my ass! My creative writing class requires I spit out a 10-page story every three to four days, and while I LOVE LOVE LOVE to write, I LOVE LOVE LOVE taking time to properly develop my work so it’s perfect. I wrote a really good one on cheating spouses (not as grim as it seems…it was actually kind of funny), and I’m in the works of outlining my next one…something based off of/inspired by Spenser’s House of Pride from the Faerie Queene. But I don’t have all the time in the world to be all masterbatey about it, I actually have to produce some actual pages. SO YEAH, I need to get back on the wordpress horse, so I will start off with something that’s really been bothering me lately: young people at my church already married…

I was home this passed weekend for Father’s Day and attended church service at my old church. While there, thanks to church gossip (seriously, it travels faster than the swine flu), I learned that a girl that is 22 is already engaged and to be married this August. We’ll call her Kelly. Kelly JUST graduated college. Kelly’s fiancee JUST graduated college. Kelly and Kelly’s fiancee DON’T HAVE JOBS OR A PLACE TO LIVE. Kelly and Kelly’s fiancee are CRAZY.

Another example: two sisters at my church (both who grew up as missionaries in Africa), ages 22 and 23 both got married in the same month to…TWO BROTHERS. Besides the whole age thing, that situation in general is just too incestual for my liking.

Yet another example: dude at my church, 23, is engaged to a girl he has been dating for 6 months. They are to be married this summer as well.

So…are these people all just really over-eager to be broke, unhappy, oppressed, and having mid-life crisises at age 30 or….should I be concerned about the water? I am only a year or two younger than these people, and I am in no way anywhere near ready to be married. For Kelly…I mean, really? You can’t wait a minute and get a job? Are you that pressed to put a ring on it, that you can’t wait until you are financially stable and maybe, um, have a place of your own so you don’t have to quietly knock boots with your beau in your parents’ basement for three years?

Which brings me to another aspect of this…the sex factor. Most Christians believe and practice the ol’ “no sex until marriage”…thing. My theory is that these kids can’t keep the lid on it anymore and want to get down and dirty with their partners. And what’s the respectable, “sinless” way to go about that? Why, GETTING MARRIED, of course! Knot tied? Check! Clear to fuck? Check! Gross.

If you are in love with someone, REALLY in love, so in love that you think marriage is in the cards…wouldn’t that love transcend over time and still be alive when you are…I don’t know…EMPLOYED? It’s like they are worried that their significant others are going somewhere, that if a vow isn’t said and a ring not bought, that its fickle feet will run away. If that’s the case, then you shouldn’t even be thinking of getting married in the first place. And if sex is the issue, fucking have it! Because if you get married because you want it, then have it and realize, hmm, now what? then you’re screwed.

Also, getting married so young is dangerous because people change over time. You change SO much in your twenties (or so I’ve heard…) and what if you and your partner change into people that realize they don’t belong together? Then what? Oh well?

I don’t know! Thoughts?


~ by angiesyounglover on June 25, 2009.

12 Responses to “young people rushing to the altar: NO”

  1. I agree. As a person that is a little older I can say WAIT!!

    and really why hurry? I had a starter marriage (24) dissaster. Now all I want is a man I can date for the rest of my life.

    Don’t get me started on religion … I might offend.

  2. Agreeing with you as an older person that got married at 21 & did the whole mid-life crisis thing around 30. I also believe that sex & the Church’s stance on abstinence is a primary reason to marry young. We had a quite a few in our Church too. I suppose if their faith in God is strong & they walk closely with him it could work. But yeah waiting is MUCH better especially when you know who you are & what you are about & oh yeah employed! :-)

  3. Huh. Generational differences again. My sister and my friends all got married when they were under 25, and, with the exception of the one who is a lesbian, they are all still married.

    Now, Young Lover, answer me this: you are still going to put out right up until the point when we get married when you are 30?

  4. Also, religion sucks.
    Such as.

  5. I didn’t stay married & wasn’t religious either.

  6. well, if “waiting ’till marriage” is your thing, who am i to nay say it…but wanting to fuck is a really crap reason to get married. jus’ sayin’.

    also, i’m with you on what the fuck is up with people getting engaged when they’ve barely started dating?! and the take a second to get on your feet beforehand part. (but shacking up is a good personal economic practice =)

    but, then, i’m not hating on the age thing. it’s only that the above points tend to preclude it. i’m no proponent of waiting till you’ve “discovered yourself” ’cause that shit’s never-ending.

    • i dont believe in waiting until marriage. i respect the people that do, but if it means rushing to the altar to get it on, then, yes, that shit’s bananas. yikeees.

  7. I agree entirely! I got married when I am 18. And now I am 21 and divorced.

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